Flash Fiction Contest Winner #26 – “Marjorie’s surprise”

Please note: Flash fiction stories are submitted by members of our Discord server. Many contain adult themes and may be objectionable to some readers.

“Marjorie’s surprise”

That morning, Marjorie found out that her asshole was gone. Clenching in her “poopy chair”, no matter how strong she pushed, nothing would come out of her. The truth is that she really didn’t even want to poop, but habits are made to be followed, and nothing could stop her from her poop of eight o’clock.
     And there Marjorie was, biting her lip without noticing it, twisting a ball of toilet paper in her hands, her undies lying miserably on the floor between her pink fluffy slippers. “Well, what is going on?” she thought. “What should I do now, oh dear?”.
     She was scared of looking down there, between her legs, because only God knew what she could find instead of her beloved anus. “Nothing?” she said to herself. “But how can I just lose my butt? That’s not something easy to lose! And I’m definitely sure no thief would be interested in stealing that”.
     It was no easy task to wipe herself – she couldn’t find where nor what to wipe. It took our poor Marjorie fifteen minutes to decide what she had to do next. “This won’t be an easy task but I have to do so, I have to check myself, otherwise I won’t have a basis to visit Dr. Pippen, and he is a very good, busy and respectable doctor. I’m sure he would only laugh at me if I went to his clinic claiming to have no hole only to be hidden just there.”
     She poured herself a shot of tequila, grabbed her old hand mirror and clutched awkwardly trying to find the non existing anus. And there it wasn’t – a spot as colorless as her butt cheeks, where a hole used to be, was now empty (besides a few splats of harsh short hair).

Pale and stiff like a stuffed cat, it was really hard for Marjorie to find the words to describe her illness to Dr. Pippen, who was getting worried by her lack of words that day.
     “There is… a … problem, doctor. I lack the knowledge for the proper… medical term. But I discovered today that my… my anus is gone, doctor!”
     “That seems to be a problem, indeed. Could you please show me?”
     What usually was for Marjorie nothing but a medical requirement, today was difficult and cumbersome. She spread her buttocks for the doctor to see, waiting for a laugh or a scathing comment, but the doctor stood in silence for what seemed to be two full minutes and a couple “mhmms”.
     “Well, miss, there seems to be a… well, a lack of a proper anus. I don’t recall testing for it specifically in the past, but I am quite sure you actually had one, is that correct?”
     “Yes, doctor.”
     “And when was the last time you noticed it was there?”
     “Well doctor, it is not easily visible nor reachable, I think I never cared that it was there. I just… missed it when I couldn’t find it.”
     “I see.”
     “What should I do now, doctor?”
     “Luckily for you, miss, I just heard some rumours from my peers – exceptional cases that are becoming more and more common by the week. You are not alone, miss, and in fact I can provide you the address for an ad hoc group of anusless people.”
     Before leaving, the doctor handed Marjorie a handwritten note with an address. It took her weeks to find the courage to finally go there and meet others, like her. What she could have never guessed is that a fifty-four years old Miss like her would find love in a forty-eight years old boy who happened to lose his asshole by surprise too, a couple months prior.

As she would merrily say to her friends after a couple glasses of wine during their monthly “Living without shite” meetings, “I only found love after losing my butt, my dears. There’s nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. The fact that most have an ass doesn’t mean you need one to be happy. There’s nothing in life worth regretting, especially not having an asshole. Be yourself and live your life, no matter what you have between your buttocks.”